Small boy on a bus:
"What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?"
Smaller brother: "The world exploding!"

American teenager:
"Have you ever smelled a snake? It smells like this."
- waves chewed piece of gum under his friend's nose.

Indian man stuck in tube door:
"I nearly died then! I love your shoes! I'm a fashion
designer. People say I look like a minister, I take that on board."

Shayne Ward on Simon Cowell:
"To a lot of people he's Mr Nasty. But to me he's Mr Important."