Very excited to be working with Somethin' Else on their day of interactive radio. Can't say exactly what the result will be yet: watch this space.

With two major series, Ashes to Ashes and Lost, finishing this week, and leaving many viewers underwhelmed by their big twist finales, I'd like to save you from future disappointment by pointing out that there are really only 3 twists. (Spoilers ahead, obviously.) There are incidental twists that arise out of the characters and are genuinely surprising (The Crying Game; Star Wars), but if an ending has to explain everything, don't get your hopes up: it's almost bound to be one of these.

1) The narrator done it. The unreliable narrator has been around since Wuthering Heights and before, but still most people's heads explode when they come across the idea that HE'S MAKING IT ALL UP. He is Tyler Durden/Keyser Soze/the murderer! Etc. Did provide the only satisfactory Agatha Christie plot there is.

2) It was all a dream. Strictly speaking banned from all stories by people over the age of seven but it still sneaks in. Only David Lynch should be allowed to do this.

3) They're all dead. Hard to believe this could still be considered a surprise when it's been used in everything from No Exit to The Third Policeman but since every TV series ending recently seems to unveil this as their Big Explanation, obviously it is to someone. I expect the last episode of Mad Men to reveal that Don Draper was actually killed at the Battle of Gettysburg and was sent into Sixties advertising as Purgatory.

Here are a couple of my sketches from the new series of BBC Radio 7's
topical news show:

From the Archive - Football Scandal:

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

And Moira Stuart in the cupboard:

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

Writers, no need to sweat over Robert McKee - this poster from 1900 for the play Blue Jeans explains all you need in the way of structure:

No. 1: The big political barbecue.
No. 2: Thrilling saw mill scene.
No. 3: The great lynching scene.
No. 4: Rising sun roarers.

Job done.

I've got a sketch being broadcast in the first episode of BBC Radio 7's new topical comedy series: listen on the iPlayer for a while longer here, or there's also a podcast. It's the one about the thrift expert.

**Update** Also sketches on Episodes 4 and 6: Gordon Brown on the plinth and Thought for the Day.

This 20-minute screenplay was adapted from The Diamond Lens, a short story by Fitz James O'Brien, an unjustly neglected 19th century writer of tales of the uncanny, considered by some to be one of the forerunners of modern science fiction.

It's the tragic story of a pioneering microscopist who falls hopelessly in love with a miniscule woman.

A short film. Lost in the museum, Jenny mistakes another woman for her mother, and is lead out of her safe, orderly world to somewhere much more frightening.

Three more 55-word stories, published in Notes from the Underground:

Sweet Thunder has a collection of home recording tapes found in charity shops, which are fascinating for the glimpses they give into private and work lives, some of them decades ago. There are stalacpipe organ recordings and astrology readings, but strangely the most interesting are the more mundane moments: a legal secretary practising her pronunciation of legal terms ("Pun-i-tive damages. Quaa-ash"), some drunk men talking about spreadsheets, and a surgical needle sales meeting.

Best of all is the conversation between an elderly couple, where he ruefully admits to falling for her April Fools Day joke yet again:
"In 51 years I've never missed an April Fool. I can get you ten times in a day!"
"The thing is I think you're so sincere about everything. Trick after trick after trick!"
"April Fools Day I lie all day long."

You are cordially invited to the grand opening of Bluebell.fm – the home of robot folk tales. If you are fond of enjoying yourself, then this is the place for you.

Time: Now
Place: Here

Small boy on a bus:
"What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?"
Smaller brother: "The world exploding!"

American teenager:
"Have you ever smelled a snake? It smells like this."
- waves chewed piece of gum under his friend's nose.

Indian man stuck in tube door:
"I nearly died then! I love your shoes! I'm a fashion
designer. People say I look like a minister, I take that on board."

Shayne Ward on Simon Cowell:
"To a lot of people he's Mr Nasty. But to me he's Mr Important."

Rush Hour, the sketch show I contributed to, is being shown on BBC3, starting on Monday 19 March, 10.30pm. Look out for the mind-reading kid and Frankie Boyle as the tactless AA man, among others.

Here is one of mine:

The script for a short public information film on how you are misinterpreting the world by failing to pay attention to the right details.

Can't say much about it yet; stay tuned.

One-act play about the teenage assassins of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, commissioned by Net Curtains Theatre Company for Tales of the Black Hand, four plays on the theme of assassination, performed at the Tricycle Theatre.

The play was inspired by the folk tales of Serbia, which are full of forest-dwelling monsters, from one-eyed witches to the mysterious screaming "drekavac" – along with the twentieth-century terrors unleashed by fanatical boys with guns, learning to shoot in the woods outside Belgrade.